The Journey

In these lines, I bear my soul, my story. Vulnerability is terrifying, but I invite you to embark on this journey with me. Share my tears, pray with me, and remember that however long the night, joy comes in the morning:

Since I was a small child, I have had minor health problems, mostly centered around my stomach. When I turned 14 years old the problems started to worsen. I started a long process of testing that showed no abnormality in the abdomen. I was eventually diagnosed with IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) which is basically a diagnoses that doctors give people when they can't find answers. And Although IBS can be a very real thing, I was never satisfied that it was the problem I was facing. I faced my teen years, with drugs that helped my symptoms, but no promise that whatever I had been plagued with, would ever go away.

When I got to college I knew that life was changing, Mom was no longer there to take care of me when I felt as though I was dying. It was a hard time, but a time to grow up none the less. I got through (by the hardest) my first two years of college, but it was the beginning of my junior year that I felt my body changing.  I was sick. A lot. Trying to hide it from the outside world. That's the thing about a sickness that isn't clearly visible or answered, you run the risk of people thinking you're lying. But I was starting to get worse, sick to my stomach (and all that entails), no energy to do anything, sleeping 12+ hours a day, dizziness, headaches, and always a feeling of nausea. I knew that this was something different. But all the tests I've ever gotten was normal. I went through a period of time thinking that maybe everyone feels the way I do, and I just can't handle it as well as everyone else.

When I got home for Christmas break my loving parents assured me that, no, everyone does not feel like this. It was time to figure out what was wrong. Even if that meant flying a thousand miles away to the Minnesota Mayo Clinic. But before we made any drastic or dramatic moves we went to see Dr. Thompson, and hematologist and oncologist at the Montgomery Cancer Center. He assured me that this was more than IBS and made it his mission to help me go where I needed to go to figure things out. He decided to run an MRI, a scan of the brain, to make sure I didn't have some benign tumor pressing on any nerves. I had the MRI later that day and found out that a benign tumor would have been the least of my worries.

Something that gastroenterologists never thought about testing was my brain. Something that could have been picked up years ago was right before everyone's eyes. The MRI found that I had something called a Chiari Malformation. Present since birth. 

I decided to withdraw from UM. Jesus gave me peace the second I did.

All these years, all this pain. Is this what is causing all of it? Well, that's where the Wisconsin Chiari Clinic comes in. I have applied to be a patient there and I am waiting to hear back from them ASAP. This clinic is the best of the best when it comes to Chiari Malformation. At this point in time, I am praying that the doctors have discernment on weather to accept me as their patient. I ask you do the same. If this is what is causing all my problems, I will fly up to Wisconsin and undergo surgery. But the worst fear is that I undergo this surgery, wake up, and nothing is different, just as sick as before. But this could be the source of all my problems and the first lead I've ever gotten and for that I praise the King.

In fact I'm praising Him through all of this. Withdrawing from school is hard, and being away from friends and George is hard, and leaving Sara is hard, and thinking about brain surgery is hard, but through it all I have the overwhelming feeling that MY GOD IS GREATER! I feel the warmth of His presence daily and I am constantly reminded of the blessings I have been given.

Thank you for reading the crazy story I call my life, You can stay tuned here for all the latest updates. I am thankful for every one of you who stopped by and want to embark on this journey with me. I love you all!

Specific Prayer requests:
-Discernment for the Chiari Clinic doctors in Wisconsin.
-A colonoscopy tomorrow at 6:30 am to see if there is something going on in my colon (I've been having severe pain the past week).
-Peace and strength for my parents.
-Keeping my hopes and spirits high.